Since the young age of five I have been plagued by one of the world’s oldest riddles. I have spent many sleepless nights with my nose in books searching for answers. And, because the balance of the universe hangs on the answer I have never admitted defeat.
My friends, the riddle has been solved. The Rosetta Stone has translated the final text. And I can now share my new found wisdom with you.
Why don’t all of the kernels pop when making popcorn? The answer is in the shell.
For those of you who are fans of Old Maids I apologize for this discovery. In my research I have found that the key to having a perfectly popped kernel is the percentage of moisture (about 15 %) in the center of the kernel. When heating the kernel the pressure inside builds until it explodes producing the fluffy white treat.
To my surprise, not all kernels are created equally. Those that produce Old Maids have deficient shells which allow moisture to escape. Depending on the amount of moisture lost a kernel might partially pop or not pop at all.
What does this discovery mean to our society? It means everything. It means we can genetically weed out those kernels with weak shells. It means that we can more efficiently pop popcorn. It means that there will be better quality popcorn for every man, woman, and child. And, it means fewer trips to the dentist because of cracked teeth.
It is truly a good time to be alive
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
science solves.........
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3 comments:
What would we do without science? Now all we have to do is figure out is how to make a decent Mac and Cheese pizza at home and we can really live in peace.
Here is one for you:
"Why are there no during pictures." -Mitch Hedberg
Just waiting for Science to figure out the mystery of you not updating your blog.
I guess I will can let it slide since you are going to move to a pimp new job. Sponsorship better come with some free admission to a few events. I have free time!
"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a lady who would be really mad if she heard me say that." -Mitch Hedberg
i'm going to have to go ahead and agree with leroy on this one...i think the only person slacking more on their blog is me, and that's because i don't have sh!t to say...or even if i did have something to say, it wouldn't make sense. but, like roy, i've got forgiveness in my heart. anywho, with the new job starting up, how's the drug business keeping up with your rent payments? hopefully well, we don't need you running around homeless. see, it didn't take long for me to be rambling about nothing. so on that note, peace out.
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