science solves.........

Since the young age of five I have been plagued by one of the world’s oldest riddles. I have spent many sleepless nights with my nose in books searching for answers. And, because the balance of the universe hangs on the answer I have never admitted defeat.

My friends, the riddle has been solved. The Rosetta Stone has translated the final text. And I can now share my new found wisdom with you.

Why don’t all of the kernels pop when making popcorn? The answer is in the shell.

For those of you who are fans of Old Maids I apologize for this discovery. In my research I have found that the key to having a perfectly popped kernel is the percentage of moisture (about 15 %) in the center of the kernel. When heating the kernel the pressure inside builds until it explodes producing the fluffy white treat.

To my surprise, not all kernels are created equally. Those that produce Old Maids have deficient shells which allow moisture to escape. Depending on the amount of moisture lost a kernel might partially pop or not pop at all.

What does this discovery mean to our society? It means everything. It means we can genetically weed out those kernels with weak shells. It means that we can more efficiently pop popcorn. It means that there will be better quality popcorn for every man, woman, and child. And, it means fewer trips to the dentist because of cracked teeth.

It is truly a good time to be alive

office jargon: word of the day

Percussive Maintenance

per-cus-sive main-te-nance

Adj/ Noun (not really sure which one, your choice)
Pronunciation: p&r-'k&-siv 'mAn-t&n-&n(t)s

Definition: To physically take ones frustration out on a broken electronic device.

"The jammed fax machine was percussively maintained by Jimmy."
"Jane's percussive maintenance of her phone led to the office fire."